I wake up, sit up halfway and look at the clock on the dresser. It reads 2:33. I grunt because, fuck, that's really early. I lay back down, scratch my pubes and try to sleep harder but it doesn't work. Frustrated, I pop my head back up to see 3:22 on the clock.
My dog that I don't have sings me a lullaby and I slowly begin to drift away once again. I wake up again at 6:00, a more tolerable time. It's Saturday, so I really don't have to be anywhere, but it's my dog's birthday even though I don't have a dog, so I take him downtown to get some yogurt.
The yogurt is really nice, and I walk outside to see this homeless nigga chilling on the sidewalk. We make eye contact and he does that cool head nod that cool people do when they see someone they think is cool. "Hey man, you like yogurt?" "I don't know man, I've never had it." It's a travesty, I know, so I go inside the yogurt shop and buy a fat pound of yogurt for the guy.
He does that cool black guy laugh and says, "Man, this shit's pretty good, my nigga." Then he says, "You want a wish?" Now, I've heard strange things in my life before. I've heard lies, yearbook photographers have always told me my pictures look good.
But I feel like this guy is telling the truth. So I tell him, "I'm pretty lonely. Wife finds husband cheating with blonde bbw wish I had a bad bitch to fuck.
Or multiple bitches, I don't know." He does the cool black guy laugh once again, but louder. I try to do it too but it doesn't really work. The wind picks up and I see some leaves begin to spin around each other. "Hey man, do you wanna crash at my place? It's getting kinda cold." "Nah fam, you've done more than enough for me. Really, we're cool." "Oh ok then." My dog that I don't have yells at me that we have to get home, because it's getting colder, so we haul ass back to my crib.
I enter the door and drop myself on the couch. I reminisce about that good-ass yogurt for a minute, and then my phone buzzes. I check it and, to my surprise, someone texted me. A WOMAN. A PRETTY woman. A pretty WHITE woman. And anyone who knows me can tell you that white women are my weakness. Too bad nobody knows me. Oh well, whatever. "can I come over ;)" she says. I begin to type "Maybe if you use correct capitalization and punctuation, bitch," but opt instead for a simple "Yeah, go ahead," because people never come to my place.
This reminds me that my house looks like SHIT. I rush around everywhere, putting shit away and hiding shit that won't fit anywhere else. I get the whole thing to look presentable, and then the doorbell rings. I open the door to see this lovely lady, a sweet little thing I know from school.
Her golden hair is tied back in a cute ponytail and she's wearing black athletic shorts and a white t-shirt, simple stuff, but it really revs my engine, holy shit. She's small, maybe 5'2", yet VERY well-proportioned, but even for her size, her feet are pretty small, and they look beyond cute in white Nike socks and those black Nike slippers that hood niggas wear in the summer.
Suddenly I realize that she doesn't seem to be dressed for this weather, because it's fucking cold outside. "Come in, it's fucking cold outside." She enters my home and all I can think about is how I want to enter her. I invite her to sit on my couch and, being a horrible flirt, I ask her, "Do you like macaroni?" "Yeah, actually, I love it." "Are you hungry?" "I could eat." "Cool, well I guess I'll go make a pot then." I prepare the macaroni as she sits in the kitchen with me, making conversation.
We talk about horror movies and stuff. She says that she really likes them but can't watch them alone. I tell her that that's fine because I love watching movies with people. She giggles even though I wasn't trying to be funny, whatever.
I give her a bowl of macaroni and ask her, "Have you seen Phantasm? We could watch that. It's really good." "Actually I came over because I wanted you to fuck me." I shove the biggest possible spoonful of macaroni into my mouth so I can buy time to think of a response. The thing is, macaroni is already fairly soft, therefore I can't chew it for very long before it becomes gross, so I swallow it and say, "Oh.
We could do that too, Diablo iii sex li ming x monster sucking dick guess.
If you're being serious." "I am." "Well where do you want to do it? I'd rather not mess up my sheets, and to straight-up do it on a plain mattress is just kinda sad, y'know?" "Yeah I feel you. I guess we could use that couch." "Should we lay a towel down or something?" "Yeah, probably. Good thinking." I lay a hot vixen ella knox gets humped and creamed down on the couch and sit down on it.
Then I think for a minute about how it would sound, being just sex noises. I don't like that idea, so I think of what would be appropriate background noise. Music seems to be the first logical choice, but I hate music in porn, honestly. My dog that I don't have says to put the news on, and I actually like that idea, so I turn on HLN and tell him to go outside because I'm about to fuck this girl and I can't do it if he's watching.
Even though I don't have a dog, he's still the realest nigga I know, so he goes out to the backyard. At this point, the girl comes back out of the bathroom, even though I didn't notice when she went in. Completely naked, she sits on the other end of the towel. She watches the news for a minute and then looks at me looking at her and smiles.
"Are you just gonna stare?" "Um. Uh." I reach out and cup a boob in my hand. She laughs. I squish it and kinda play with it. It's warm and soft and awesome. I withdraw my hand and she undoes my belt, button and zipper, then she yanks my pants and underwear down and grabs my dick.
She holds it for a second, possibly marveling at its averageness, then she lets go and adjusts her position so that she's straddling me, on her knees, with her boobs hanging in my face. I resist temptation for .5 seconds and then shove my face into them and their warmth.
She slowly and gently lowers her weight onto me, sighing as I slide into her like I home striptease and sex party small tits and doggystyle into a girl's DMs.
I let out a yelp as I try not to bust immediately, especially because I just realized I'm not wearing a condom and I don't know what kind of preventative measures this lady has taken.
"Are you on birth control or something?" "No," she says as she continues to rise and fall on me with increasingly rapid intervals, occasionally stopping to do this thing where she rocks her hips back and forth and all around and makes me feel like I'm gonna melt. She breathes heavily in my face and her breath smells of macaroni. I've smelled worse.
I tolerate it. "Ok," I say. In my effort to not ejaculate, I watch the TV as she rides me. There's some story about a health scandal involving pink slime in fast food, but all I can really think about is how I will continue to eat fast food no matter how gross it actually is.
I mean, I've loved it my whole life, so if it turns out to be slimy pink stuff, then that just means I've loved slimy pink stuff my whole life.
Who cares? Suddenly my focus returns to the task at hand as her insides begin to spasm violently around my member. Her macaroni-panting intensifies combined with gentle, dazed laughter and I feel a charge of sexual energy accelerate up my spine. When she reaches her peak, she rolls off to the left. At the same exact moment, a white thunderbolt shoots out of my dick, up into the air, comes back down and splatters on my shirt. "EW!
FUCK! EW! FUCK!" She stops laughing for a second to look at the commotion, then she laughs even harder. I look at her, "Fuck you, dude, I like this shirt." "I'm sorry, I didn't know that would happen," she says, still laughing her cute little ass off.
Cursing to myself, I go to the bathroom and take my shirt off to try and rinse off japani father and daughter sex cum.
She follows me, still laughing, and sits on the counter. "Dude, gross, I brush my teeth here." "Shut up and eat my pussy," she says, opening her legs. I don't know what makes her think I'm into that submissive shit, but I'll admit, it's kinda hot, but still, I can't make this easy for her.
"Ew dude, my dick was just in there." She gets off of the counter and very deliberately kneels down, grabs my dick, places it in her mouth, sucks on it for a good ten or fifteen seconds, then says in a mocking nasally tone, "Ew dude, my pussy was just on that," before resuming her seat on my counter and leaning back to expose her hoo-ha.
"Alright, point taken," I say as I kneel before her. Her pussy looks weird. Not uniquely weird, pussy in general just looks weird, but a good weird, not a bad weird. I inspect it, combing through the kinda-soft, kinda-coarse blonde hairs with my fingertips and petting it like a cat, obviously giving her no pleasure but at this point I'm really just trying to fuck with her.
Putting her feet on my shoulders, she pulls me towards her wet, bearded ham flower thing. I tell her it looks like a slain Viking and she grabs my head and shoves my face in it. I give in and try to lick it as best I can, but I'm very inexperienced at this art. Carefully listening to her moans and stuff, I begin to get a good grasp of what works and what doesn't, so I lick and lick until the back of my head feels like it's about to split open, then uk essex slut southend on sea nina finally cums.
At least, she says so. Maybe she's just tired. We both stand up and she hugs me as I try to rinse her out of my mouth. It's not a horrible taste, but mint is better, y'know? "Was that your first time?" "Uh yeah." "It was really nice." "Thanks. Do you want to watch Phantasm now?" "Sure." "Finally."